What is a 'good' parent?

I know this post is off-concept for my blog, but it's something that's been on my mind so I thought I'd share.

Last week I was fortunate to sit down and spend some time catching up with a friend who has twin girls who are exactly, and I mean born on the same day exactly, as Mason.  While they were playing we noticed a number of similarities in our parenting styles and had a brief discussion of what it means to be a good parent.

Then a couple days later I saw a video of a Dad who was reacting to a disrespectful post his daughter put on her Facebook wall.  At the end he took out a gun and shot her laptop.  I will say that it was the second time his daughter had done something like that, and I agree with consequences, but the way he dealt with it and the whole gun thing really didn't sit well with me.  The video has, of course, generated a ton of attention (feel free to read about it & view the video here)

  

The whole notion of how to be a good parent constantly rattles around my head.  I grew up with divorced parents who remarried and each had children in their second marriages.  I benefitted from this because I was able to experience different family dynamics and parenting styles and from these I've come up with some very specific ideas of what I do and do not want for my children mostly based on how I felt while I was growing up.

2012 here I come.

I am surrounded by incredibly intelligent, motivated and talented people.  It can be a little daunting at times but mostly it's just inspiring and I find it drives me to be a better person.

Today I came across one of my sister's blog postings on Facebook.  It's about New Year's resolutions and how she would prefer to set goals for herself.  Her goals for the year made me pause and think about the things that I wanted for myself.

2011 proved to be an interesting year with many challenges, the most difficult of which was mourning the loss of my father who passed away unexpectedly near the end of 2010.  It took me over 4 months to not cry into my pillow every night before I went to sleep.  After that, it was another couple months of thinking about him every day and feeling the loss.  Then as the anniversary of his death came soon after Mason's 3rd birthday I fell into a dark time where the very idea that he no longer existed was something that I couldn't comprehend (this was also around the time that my blogging took an unexpected hiatus, my exercising came to a halt and everything other than my family and DH's work simply stopped happening).  In fact, one day I was driving and a man in a truck bore so many physical similarities to my Dad that it took me a couple minutes to stop seeing my father behind the windshield and recognize that it was someone else.  I can't fully explain how odd and difficult a time it was, but I worked very hard to not fall into a deep depression at that point.

I think for the most part of the last year I kept myself busy and focused on my little ones to keep the sadness from consuming my days.  In part this ended up being a blessing but I think it also prolongated the grieving process.

On the flip side, the need to keep myself busy led me to create this blog which opened my eyes to something I love to do.  Create, share, and (hopefully) inspire.

I love that this blog has given my projects a purpose (not that why I was doing things in the first place wasn't pupose enough!) and has motivated me to really delve into my creative self.  It's a part of me that I hadn't given much time to in the last ten years or so and it's nice to have it back.

My goal for this year is simple, to focus on what makes me feel happy with who I am. 

I have a feeling that 2012 is going to be a very good year.

Happy New Year!

- Jacs

Let's begin!

If someone had told me last year that I'd be writing my own blog right now, I'd have told you there's no way.  As I get older I realize just how true it is that you should never say never!

So why am I blogging?  There are lots of reasons... to share with other women the trials, tribulations and triumphs of life.  To say the things that so many people don't say outloud... but most importantly, to seek out the thing I want most right now - to figure out who I am now that I have two small children and what I'm good at to try to build a career for myself.

I have always been an achiever.  Valedictorian (in grade 8 mind you!), Honour Roll, University Awards recipient etc. etc.  I have always been very fortunate to be able to do well in anything I put my mind to.  But (and for me this is big) I've never been GREAT at anything.  You're probably rolling your eyes right now, thinking I'm ridiculous.  But it's true.  I pick things up quickly but never truly excel.  It's frustrating.  Especially since my SO is ridiculously talented when it comes to restauranteuring (is that a word?!). 

Equally frustrating is I have very poor follow-through unless there's a looming deadline.  So basically if I set-out to do something on my own and there's no one but me to keep me accountable, it's pretty much doomed from the get-go!  I guess that's why I gravitate to things that have quick results like sewing & baking in my day-to-day.

I want to use this blog to catalogue my projects, my challenges and my insights.  I don't know if anyone will be interested in this journey, but if you do join me I'd love to hear from you!

- Jacs